What do we need to do when we outgrow a commitment or when it changes?
 

EQ:  What we would say, first of all, how committed were thee?  Because most Terrans, to them, a commitment is, "As long as this feels good, and I’m getting what I want from it, then I’m committed," is this not so?  And so, can thee out grow that?  Sure, because thee are not getting what thee want, and thee will be a child and say, "Ok, I’m gone.  That commitment’s over."  However, let us say that thee are committed with more than one being, or one other.  Thee can be committed to self and to others and to causes and to things, is this not so?  But let us say that thee are committed to a political party, and thee learn information or thee become aware that the party has changed its platform.  Is this breaking the commitment if thee decide the new platform is not one thee can be a part of?  No.  They changed the commitment, and thee are re-evaluating whether that commitment still stands, because they changed it, dost thou understand?

Ok.

EQ:  This is the same in relationships.  Thee connect with another being, and as long as thee are clear on who this being is and vice versa, a pact is made between the two beings.  This can be a friendship.  This can be a marriage.  This can be a business arrangement, correct?  There is an agreement between the two beings, and this agreement is a commitment, is this not so?  And that commitment can be as simple as that thee will arrive at eight o’clock everyday and leave at five, and between those hours, certain things will be accomplished, is this not so?  This is a commitment.  Let us say then that this job, in which thee have this precise commitment, comes to thee one day and says, "We have decided that thy hours are now 7:30 in the morning till 5:30 in the afternoon."  They have changed the commitment, is this no so?  And thee have a choice.  The choice is to try and renegotiate back thy hours, is this not so, to say, "No. I cannot do this, and I will look for another position," is this not so, or to accept it.  But in any case, would it be breaking the commitment to make one of those three choices?

No.

EQ:  Because the commitment got broken already.  These are the only cases when commitments, in our opinion, should be broken is when they have begun to be broken by the other party or parties.  But to say, "Oh yes, I was very committed to this once upon a time, but it’s been a very long time, and I’m tired and, oh well, somebody else will fill in for me,"  this is not acceptable.  This is an excuse and thy whole life, if thee look at it, will be a series of excuses where nothing is accomplished, because thee have no commitment to thyself, to thy honesty, to thy position, to thy truth.

How does the changing of a commitment fall in the realm of karma?

EQ:  As everything, karma is established through what thy ego feels as guilt.  And there will be entities that say they have no guilt breaking commitments, but it is not true, for inside, they will find ways to hurt themselves.  And then we will say, yes, it establishes much karma.

Suppose somebody makes a commitment to a gang, and over time they decide they don’t like killing people and robbing people and that this is wrong.  So, they would then be breaking their commitment to that gang, because they have learned that what they’ve been doing is really not a good thing.

EQ:  And what we would say about that would be that they have made a growth, is this not so?

Yes.

EQ:  What we would suggest that they do, which would not work of course, but this is what we would suggest that they do: is go back to their fellows and say, "I will not break the commitment to thee, but I will no longer participate in violence.  I will be thy brother.  I will be here to support thee, but I will not be violent."

That would be difficult in that situation.

EQ:  That would be exceedingly difficult, but this is what we would think could be a choice.  Second choice, "I would like to renegotiate my commitment to you.  I have found that I have changed what I feel to be important.  I am no longer comfortable with violence.  May I please be released of my commitment?"  This probably won’t work either.

No.

They’ll release you - permanently.

EQ:  But these are things that can happen.  These are choices that can be made.  These are choices that have been made.

So, in other words, it’s really important that when we’re making our choices we put a lot of…

EQ:  Thought.

…time, effort, energy and thought into each choice.

EQ:  Absolutely, for thee are totally responsible for thy life, are thee not?

Yes.

EQ:  And choices create thy life.  And thee just indiscriminately make choices every day.  And we will use a perfect example.  Thee are driving down thy roads that are very rapid, and thee say, "I don’t like the way this person in front of me is driving, so I am going to switch lanes."  Right?  That one little choice can doom you.  That one little choice can kill ten other people.  Dost thou know that?  Maybe even more.  And dost thou even think?  No, because Terrans have become numb.  "Oh, we can always get divorced.  Our children will handle it.  We’ll get them counseling."  That’s easier than trying to renegotiate or talk.  We are not that saying all marriages should be salvaged.  We do not believe that, but we also do not believe that all should be indiscriminately thrown aside during difficult times.  We do not believe Terrans talk to each other anymore.  We do not believe they want to hear what the other person believes or thinks.

Especially if it’s different from what they believe.

EQ:  This creates defensiveness, so that, again, thee can feel put upon and hurt and have a wondrous excuse for thy life not working.  Isn’t this great?  We love watching it, because it is so simple to stop.  And it only takes one little thing: will and desire.  This is it.  It is simple; it shall happen.