On August 6th, 2004, Equinox was asked,

When we care about someone, our tendency many times is to meddle in their lives and choices. Others let the person have their own experiences. How do we do the best for them and for us?

EQ: When one rids thyself of the illusion that thy way is the only way, then thee can allow that there be many ways to the same path. Dost thou understand? That, on Terra, entities think in processes that have to do with an end result that thee create that thee call a goal, is this so? All things point toward those goals, is this so? But there can be many paths to what thee perceive to be the goal, is this not so? And some paths are better than others in thy mind, but may not be better than others in her mind or his mind, is this no so? When thee allow the entities that thee love to have their own experience, and thee can participate by watching and seeing and loving their experience, then thee have two experiences not just one, is this not so? Potentially three experiences, for the combined experience creates a third, is this not so? This is the wondrous nature of thy planet if thee are allowing all that thee love to have their own experience with the trust that no mater how they seem to be getting there, that they’re there is perfect. And if thee can do this thing, think of all the wondrous experiences that thee have without actually having to participate.

Just be an observer and participate in that way?

EQ: If there is a linkage on the planet, when thee have an experience, does not the vehicle experience it? Does it not change the consciousness of the planet? Can thee not have other’s experiences? When thee attempt to control them, does this succeed?

Not very well.

EQ: It does not succeed, ever.

So you just let it happen?

EQ: Thee can, if thee need to, show the entity other ways of viewing their dilemma or their path or their direction, but this is all, because that is thy path direction or concept not theirs. If they choose to make that theirs, sometimes this is worse for them than if they do their own, dost thou understand? No one can live thy path. Only Judy can be Judy. If only Judy can be Judy, then how can Judy tell Martha how to be Martha?

I can’t.

Then how about if Martha then gets upset because Judy didn’t stop Martha from doing something?

EQ: Then Martha should have asked Judy for her advice and listened. It is Martha’s path, not Judy’s. Dost thou understand?

I do, and maybe Judy understands but maybe Martha does not.

EQ: And then bless Martha for the wondrous experience of needing to be angry. Thee are not going to take away her anger by saying, “Oh, yes. Thee were right. I should have done this,” and taken on her guilt. Dost thou understand? Or her responsibility, for entities that want to blame thee because thee did not guide them on a different path are not wanting to take responsibility for their power. And when thee accept this, do thee empower or dis-empower?

They empower themselves.

EQ: But if thee take responsibility for them, dost thou empower them or dis-empower them?

Dis-empower them.

EQ: And this is fine too if thee want to do this. We are not judging thy choices. We are just saying this is the way to learn for thyself is to walk thy path and lovingly observe others walking theirs. If thee are asked for suggestions, thee may make them. If thee feel compelled, thee can also make them, even without being asked. It is the assumption that they must follow that will create much disharmony, however, is this not so?

Because it’s the expectations. You’re expecting something. Last month you were talking about losing all expectations.

EQ: Of others, yes. Thee can have expectations for thyself even if thee don’t make them happen, because, as we said before, upon Terra, thee value goals. With goals come expectations, is this not so? Thee can do this to thyself, but we will discuss this in the meditation later.

Is there actually any such thing as wise advise then?

EQ: Yes, we believe there is. However, as each entity hears what they want to hear at all times, wise advice may be heard unwisely.

So how do we discern wise advice from foolish advice?

EQ: There is always an inner knowing, is there not? When thee listen to thy inner-self, thee know. Thy ego’s self may fight it every inch of the way. This is why there must be time to go within and seek that inner truth. But what we would say is, we would be willing to bet thee that only, at the most optimistic, one quarter of the entities even think to do this thing. This is why there are such things on Terra as experts.

So whether it is wise advice or foolish advice shouldn’t make a bit of difference because you should still be able to check in here [gesturing to heart].

EQ: And what is foolish advice, perceived wrongly, may end up being very wise advice indeed. And very wise advice heard foolishly could wind up being very bad advice indeed - if there were such a thing as bad and good. There is, after all, just being and experiencing.

What if Martha doesn’t want Judy to give her any advice, whether it’s good or not, but that advice is forced off on her and she really doesn’t want it…

EQ: It happens constantly on Terra.

What do you do about that? How do you deal with that?

EQ: We can offer suggestions, but the way that thee will do this is thine own. Thee can choose to be distant from this person, not put thyself in this person’s space to give advice. Thee can listen to the advice, thank the person, and do what thee want on thy own. Or, thee can do the advice and, when it fails, point out to this entity that perhaps thee misunderstood the suggestion, or if thee did, what went wrong, making the entity look at his advice. Those are only three options and there are dozens more.

There are so many people that believe that they know what’s best for other people.

EQ: Absolutely. And the wondrous thing about it is, look at all the wondrous information that thee get to sift through. In the end, it will be thy choice to either accept or reject.

But they only do it for your own good.

EQ: Of course. But this is actually true because it starts with parenting, does it not? For, are not entities on Terra told that it is their responsibility to mold their children?

Yes.

EQ: What does “mold” say? That this is an unformed entity that the parent must decide what this entity becomes. Most of the time this is impossible, for this entity, as thee know, comes in with karma, comes in with their own perceptions and their own talents. The good parent allows this entity to grow in its own right with just a little bit of prodding which ways are easiest, but with much love no mater what the choice. Dost thou understand? But thee are told from the very beginning that this is what people do is tell each other what to do and how to be and this creates civilization. Is this not so? We would suggest it can create dis-empowerment, control, dis-unity and dissatisfaction (we like “dis’s”).

For those who do that, their the ones that constantly think that they’re right…

EQ: They’re afraid.

How is it that a person who’s experiencing this from another can…

EQ: Understand that an entity that must control that much of their environment that they must tell everyone how to think, be and behave, is coming from fear. Their own world is so out of control in their mind, they are so unsafe, that they must view all things as - we believe there is a game of pawns?

Chess.

EQ: As beings upon a board that must move in exact ways, and it is their place to move them. This creates safety for them. If thee understand it is not malicious, it is their own fear and pain, then perhaps it does not bother thee as much.

So how does one help another get through that?

EQ: Ah! So now thee want to control!

No, no. I want to be the kind of parent who steers them along a little bit and kind of guides them a little bit. That’s all I’m looking for.

EQ: Thee can not help anyone. All thee can do is bless them, love them unconditionally and, when asked or on occasion, allow them to see other ways. This is it. Otherwise thee are being the meddler too, no matter what thy excuse for it is.

But if you see a child going in the wrong direction…

EQ: Doesn’t make a difference. If thee tie the child to its bed, perhaps. But if thee say to the child, “You may not go to the party with Tom this weekend,” how often does that child go out the window or lie or do something? So dost thou have the power to control anyone?

No, but can you give them choices?

EQ: Yes. Thee can say to them, “From my experience, this is what I see, and it worries me for thee.” But understand, they will do what they will do. Even the tiniest, even the toddler, when thee say, “Do not do that!” what happens? This is the way Terrans learn. This is the way thee learn.

So where does the “catalystic intervenor” that - and there may be several of these in the course of historical cycles - where they can be spearheads or catalysts for some kind of change in society fall into this? Those who are speaking up for their convictions, not being afraid of ruffling feathers.

EQ: That’s different. That is different. Speaking up for one’s convictions are thee saying, “From my experience, this is my vision.” This is not, “You must have this same vision.” How many entities follow beings that say it that way as opposed to those that follow the Ghandi’s. Dost thou understand? Leaders create followers not because they force, but because the followers have created the leader.

That’s very true. It’s time and a leader comes to give that extra push.

EQ: Either that, or the beings create this person.

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